It all began in 2019, when the Spirit of The Lord said to me, “Daughter, you have to heal from what happened to you”.
This message came to me suddenly and without context. Yet somehow I knew exactly what He was referring to – The abuse. At this time, that stuff was all just a collection of distant memories to me. Those memories never felt real, nonetheless relevant. They felt more like a story about someone else’s life than my own. What the Lord said seemed absurd to me, in so much that it was even humorous at the moment. So, after hearing it, I reacted much like Sarah did in Genesis 18:12, when The Lord told her that she was going to have a baby: with comical disbelief. And I replied… “Lord, what are you talking about? I’m fine. That stuff doesn’t affect me.”
Oh, how blissfully ignorant… There I was, living every day in a pattern of dysfunction, and I didn’t even know it. I was like a feral cat: mean, defensive, always on high alert, never letting anyone get too close, scared at the sight of my own shadow. God’s grace never does fails, does it? What took place in the months following this event would completely alter the course of my life and change me in ways that I never could’ve imagined.
When I realized the magnitude of what was happening to me, I began documenting the process. This blog is a collection of the moments which would come to break me and make me – all for the sake of healing. Entries are difficult to write because it requires me to confront and engage with my brokenness, which is a painful and scary thing to do. To share these writings with you, has cost me something, so I ask that you honor my story by engaging with it respectfully and compassionately.
Until we meet again,
Anon