Confessions of a Daughter

The things I only tell Jesus, and people who will never know me.

Light By Night


I often feel a heavy burden, an intense urge, and a great pressure to make sure that the people I love are okay… Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, you name it. I know I’m not alone in these feelings. Many of you, even as you are reading, feel that same burden – that same nagging pressure in your chest. If there’s any unmet need that I can see, you bet that I’m on it. Here comes Me to save the day!! To tackle the issue, to take away the pain, to make them feel okay.

But have I really saved the day? Or am I just spent by the end of the night.

Is everything miraculously okay now because I took a hold of the situation? Or am I just living each day consumed with guilt over my insufficiency to end their suffering.

Have I taken away their pain? Or have I, in my own hopelessness, just been paralyzed in by it?

Have I made anyone feel okay? Or have I alienated them when they needed me to just be present with them, despite the pain.

I’m asking…

but I’m not really asking, because the latter of the questions are statements about my reality when it comes to love and realtionships, up until this point. But today something changed. The Lord took me deep – to a place of inner healing, and I want to share with you what He showed me. For any of you who are struggling with the same symptoms as I have described in the beginning paragraphs, don’t worry – there is real hope for a different today and a better way of relating to those you love. There is more peace to be found, even in facing a suffering world.

There is real hope for a different today and a better way of relating to those you love. There is more peace to be found, even in facing a suffering world.

On this crisp October night, I went and sat by the brook – seeking peace of heart and needing to hear from Jesus. I cried out to him about all of these things: the pain, the suffering, and the nights Ive spent sleepless thinking about it all. I cried out for the ones that I love and their brokeness, then as I looked up at the star-filled sky Jesus spoke, and this is what He said …

I give them… 

A) Light by night
B) The constant sound of My voice 
C) Company in the dark
D) A door to liberation

At this moment in time, He showed me the truth of their spiritual condition, (in part of course, for no man knows in totality like God knows.) He showed me the position of the lost and the hurting through His eyes – The way He knows it to be, versus the way we see it. And this is what I saw…

A. As I looked at the stars Jesus said “I give them light by night”,

And He began to show me how He sent His children into this world to light up the darkness (John 17:16)(John 6:38) (John 20:21) These people, while yet in darkness, are not in utter darkness because the stars light the night and illuminate their path. Those in Christ (those who know God), are the stars… and The Lost are like the three wise-men who followed a star to find baby Jesus laying in His manger. Those who want the light, are wise, and they follow the signs to find it. God blesses the lost, such that when one is ready to accept their Savior, they can just look to His Children (Born-again believers, Christ-Followers) to find their way to Him. He said “ I place you in the lives of the lost, in view, as lights to guide them home. When they see you, the star in their sky, they see something specific – They see the promise of my Love.”

B. As I listened to the sound of the brook, and the water flowing under the bridge I sat upon, Jesus said “They hear my voice”,

And He began to show me how He is always speaking to them – whispering words of life to sustain them. He showed me how every time the enemy speaks a word to them, Jesus speaks back. When the enemy speaks, he lies against us to tear us down. Satan tells them that they are not loved, and they are not valuable, but Christ The Lord speaks up against every harmful word that comes to tear them down. The Spirit explained this to me … He said “The enemy lies, but I dispel the lies with Truth, and they hear me. Every word of love, and encouragement, that has guided them and sustained them thus far, has been Me speaking. And they have heard me. They hear me now. They just don’t know it’s me.”

C. As I sat on the bridge, in a fetal position to keep warm in the crisp fall night, I saw that Jesus sat next to me. And He said “I am with them, to warm them”,

And He began showing me how He sits next to them, with what attitude and manner. He sits with a quiet calmness – as if He wants nothing but to just be present with them. He sat as if He had no other mission but to remain by their side. His focus was on my focus, He was just experiencing my experience, that’s all. And then He put his arm around my shoulder. This is how He sits with the lost and hurting. He showed me how, When they rise He rises. When they sit, He sits with them –  never leaving, never far away, always right by their side. Wherever they go He goes. And though they sit in the bitter cold which represents loneliness, they themselves are not bitterly cold because they are not alone, He is there. They feel a chill, but no more than that, because His warmth is with them and His companionship wards off the bitter cold. No matter how alone they feel, they will never feel the depth of what it is to be truly alone because He never leaves them. 

D. As I peered through the gaps in the bridge’s posts, I saw from their eyes. They see through prison bars. They see that they stuck, shut in, locked up in this dark place… But Jesus said “I give them a door to liberation”,

Then He showed me that door, and the pathway to it. The exit is very near to them. They can even see it in their peripheral vision. He showed me the door is wide open. When they are ready to rise, they will stand and follow their stars. The light of those stars will lead them out of the place they are in, and home to their Savior. They will rise and see the way out clearly, they will go and see prison bars no more, they will see the way out, and feel stuck no longer. 

So, I found what I went looking for tonight, or better yet.. who I was looking for – The Prince of Peace. And He spoke to my heart what it needed to know about the ones I care for. I have peace because Jesus showed me Truth.

The truth is, They may be in the dark, but they can see the light. They may be in the woods, but they are hearing His voice. They may feel alone, but He is right by their side. They may be in the cold, but they feel His warmth. They may feel stuck there, but the way out is in view. It can be hard to relinquish control over the lives of those that we care for, and even more so when you’re someone who has been acquainted with the spirit of codependancy like myself – but I speak words of life over you today… The spirit of burden can not have you because you were bought with the blood of the lamb. You now belong to God and none besides Him.

These are the words of The Lord that were written by me through His Spirit, concerning the issue of weighty burden: these words freed me tonight, and His words are life and freedom for any who hear and receive them, He Speaks…

“The ones you’re worrying about, I love them so much that I gave them you… my precious jewel. I sent you into the world to be a light, not a savior. To show them the way, not to be The Way. There are many like you – of course, I have many precious jewels, I am a king. And they are each unique, and I love them greater because I hewed them out of the rock with my own hands. I hewed each one out with a patient labor, so as to not crack, chip or harm them. With this same patient labor, I carefully chip away at the hearts of the lost, in equal love as I have labored for you, I labor for all, for every single heart – for those who are yet to yield their heart to me.

And I will not stop until I have finished my work. I will reap the reward of my labor. If I have found them, the gem within the rock, will I not stop laboring until they are in my possession? I am God Almighty, I will not be cheated, or robbed, or mocked – My labor is not in vain. Everyone I have called, I have chosen to be mine (Isaiah 43:1). 

If I have chosen them, I am pursuing them, and what do you think? Does the Lord give up because something is too hard. Does the Lord ever lose in battle? Or does He over-run every enemy and obstacle to accomplish His will.

They have gone astray, and are afflicted so that they may learn my statutes; to desire me, to come to me, to ask of me in times of trouble, to learn my love and mercy (Psalm 119.) I will have my victory in the Ruin. No affliction will go to waste. I will avenge the oppressed and I will exalt the needy, after their Hearts have been circumcised unto me. I will possess their hearts. 

My Child, do not let your heart be troubled for their burden is mine and their stones are not heavy for me. Your job is to shine, to be consumed by the Joy of the Lord.

May I give you rest? 

Rest in My joy and you will shine brighter with each passing moment. None can dismiss such a bright light. Do not let any issue diminish the magnitude of your joy, for it is your brightness. The brighter you shine the more you will attract those who I am calling. I am The Light. 

If you want to help, you can do so in one way, and one way only: by resting in Me and displaying My Peace, along with all the fruits I produce in Your Spirit. Let me do the hard work. Your hands are incapable of hewing out such great gems. It is a work only the Lord’s hands can accomplish. If you raise your tools to My work, you will accomplish nothing but corruption. Your work will only corrupt My process of perfecting My treasure ( Exodus 20:25) I am not slack as some consider it, but wise and prudent in my craftsmanship. I wrought perfection. You cannot comprehend the labor with which I contend for each soul. 

I love that your heart is zealous and cannot stand to see My precious gems enclosed, encased in hard stone. I see your heart and that you are zealous for the beauty of the Lord, and His precious ones… but this is a delicate operation, and I need you to stay back. Do not strive, it is an indicator that you’ve picked up your tool and are about to strike My treasure with your pickaxe. I suffer also in the waiting, to see them free, trust me. Do this one thing and you will succeed, learn to be still and know that I am God – I am God. I alone. 


If you don’t know Him, He gave me this for you as an invitation to the family. If you do know Him, He gave this coming verse as an invitation His joy, and a new abundance and fullness of life on earth.

This is His call to you even now in this moment… 

Psalm 119:88 which says,

“Gife me life according to Your lovingkindness; so I shall keep the testimony of Your mouth.”

If you say Psalms 119:88 from your heart, in truth and integrity, He will come and save you now. He knows that you dont know where to start or what to say, so dont be shy, just give Him the word and He will swiftly deliver you from whatever is hurting you. Just give Him your perission, and He will tear down whatever is keeping you back. He is offering you a way out of the prison and into His awesome light.

Take the opportunity, you won’t regret it.

Love Always,